come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
