I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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