let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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