just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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