he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize