"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
