the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
