i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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