I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
