Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
