we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
