I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
