There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
