I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How does one acquire holy water?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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