I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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