I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
