I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Text me some of your sweat
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