You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
