I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
