He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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