I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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