all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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