just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You ruined the universe
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
