Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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