I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
