I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
