...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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