Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
