haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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