You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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