you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter†so needless to say we had a good night
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