Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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