Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
