i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
me + whiskey = a bad person
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
