He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize