shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
