The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
