He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
