I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
