i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
