he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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