So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
