I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
