Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
