first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
