Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
