if i died would you start the facebook group?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
this will be a night to untag.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
