how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
