I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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