how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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