This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
