I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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