Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
