Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
