i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
