3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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