Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
